free soul

What is in your life the one single quote u used to repeat but never believe from ur heart comes true, and changes ur whole life, in my case it did.
“even a single thought has the power to change ur personality ur life”
This quote of someone I don’t even remember, in a moment changed my life, a single thought in just a single moment changed everything, With the drops of blood from my wrist the memories came rushing in to my mind and destroyed every identity every image I had made of myself. Just what remain were very few lines, few images and many questions and to answer was that I am rehan who went through it all and it is my story of life of gaining and loosing everything in just one thought.

I am rehan, a student, an engineer to be, a poet and most importantly a dreamer. It never made a difference to me where the world was going and what other’s where doing or where my grades were going I was always busy in dreaming and doing what I loved be it modeling, singing, dancing etc. I could have missed anything in life but a good novel and a good romantic or emotional movie never. These were the sources of my dreams. I always believed that everything is going to be fine, I never gave a damn about anything but I believed that once the age is gone no one can be a child again and after watching almost all the working people I was sure that life ends after college or pretty much in the college when before doing anything u love you start thinking about what other’s may think and in the end stop doing things u love and so, I never missed any opportunity to do my heart felt things like running or walking in the rain, singing when ever I love to,
Doing modeling and dancing or making my presence felt on the stage no matter if I suck and thinking from heart all the time.
Thinking about all those things one thinks that its an amazing life but as someone said “joy in suffering”, I suffered for my joys, I don’t know weather I suffered b’coz of my joy or I was joyful b’coz I suffered every moment. No, answer to that.
Yes I suffered but with silence, I don’t know weather they knew or not , who made me suffer but I did , it was a silent demise, I compromised with everything but with my dream, my smile and joy , never. Those who were unknown with my sufferings thought that I am too happy all the time and I am a too proud person or I am arrogant etc, etc. but I guess only I know that I was not.
I loved adventure but like every day my routine was limited going to college, coming back having food, lying on the sofa and watching an English movie , a little study in the evening, before sunset a walk over the bridge till 7:30 or sometimes 8 at night and then to temple. There was no time for friends, fun or roaming in my time table like every other guy. But I guess there were no friends, no fun and no joy. So, I learned to smile without a reason, enjoy my lonliness and being at peace with silence. This solitude though gave me my strength but was also gave the only reason to others to point a finger at me.
But more than others I think it was destined to be,